Church Crime

by Kitty

Harold is an officer who whilst not necessarily being one for the lazy life doesn’t get into many confrontational situations.  He is a bit of a comedian and has a pleasant nature so maybe he can talk people into recognising the error of their ways.

One night, Harold got involved in an unusual occurence.  He was patrolling around the Parish Church area at about midnight when he realised the main door was ajar.  Slipping inside he saw a figure with a torch in the sanctuary putting items of silver into a bag.  Harold duly arrested him and took him to the Police Station,

There was great interest amongst the station staff because of the nature of the charge brought.  House-breaking, shop-breaking, factory-breaking even burglary were common but sacrilege was a bit of a rarity.  Other policeman coming into the station were attracted like bees around a jampot and each one wanted to hear the story.

Harold has to continue his outside beat work until suppertime at 2am.  After his half hour allocated mealtime he had then to charge the arrested man and complete his report.

Harold sat down at the big table as the now almost empty mess room and began the laborious process of compiling his report.  A fussy Sergeant Walter Mudd was looking over Harold’s shoulder, quite unneccessarily overseeing what he was writing.

Harold described everything in detail ..

Entering the church grounds

Seeing the door ajar

Thinking what his next step should be

Pushing the door further open

Getting his bearings in the darkened church

The sights and sounds

And so on, right through the entire event.

The Sergeant thought he could see a better way of phrasing what Harold wrote and kept interrupting.  This went on throughout the report until Harold got to the descripion of the stolen goods.  There was a number of church items silve chalices, plates, candlesticks altogether valued at several hundred pounds, a tidy sum.

Harold was fast losing patience as the Sergeant continued to suggest changes to the report.  When Harold wrote “candles” the Sergeant butted in “Altar candles”

Harold lost it then “I might as well alter candles.  I’ve bloody well altered everything else”